I had a relationship with a Dutch man for 7 years, After our son was born he got very abusive towards me so I left him and returned to Scotland for 3-4 months then he convinced me that he had changed so I returned with our son to Holland. His abuse towards me started up again while I was pregnant with our daughter, after she was born the abuse got worse and it also started affecting our oldest child. I told him and his family that I was leaving him with our children (both born in Holland)18 June 2005 my father came over and helped us to return to Scotland. Ex came over alot of times to visit us, in January 06 he realised that I was seeing someone else and that we were all happy and moving on with our lives, I got a permanent home in March in which ex bought a cooker, washing machine and a freezer. He had taken the Hague Convention out on me saying I kidnapped our children. Edinburgh high court believed his story and children were ordered back to Holland. I returned to Holland with children and my mother on 6 August and started court proceedings to let me have residence of Melvin 5yrs and Suzie 2 1/2. Three months we stayed in 7-8 different hotels, I spoke to many people in Helland but absolutely noone would help us, a woman who worked in the city hall in The Hague told me to return home with children. But that was no option. Ex never helped us at all with accommodation only that I could stay at his mothers house or sisters, yeh back to the situation in which I left. 31 October my father told me that the bank loan money and their life savings had ran out so I had a choice stay in Holland on the streets or return home. I took my babies home. The judge made her verdict that I had habitual residency of children BUT we had to live in Holland. Ex is taking my to court this wednesday to have children returned again to Holland. I cannot return my babies to nothing, I could also get arrested on returning. The child protection in court advised that my daughter is to young to be taken away from me for more that 1 week and that my son would be used to his school etc. I explained through solicitors that ex can have children MORE if he allows us to stay in our home but he refused he has also refused to help with accomodation, everything. He just wants me back under his control. I am also 5 months pregnant with my partner. I am appealing the decision which could take 7 months to go to court, and in the meantime I have no home to take my children to I would have no money and I also have no health insurance for when unborn child is born, I have NO family or friends in Holland absolutely nothing.

My solicitor went to court for maintanance and ex stated that he wanted the children, the judge said that because of the circumstances he gets the holiday rights and children stays with me in Scotland. Ex took out the h/c on me again and a date was set for the 12 Jan BUT because of the judgement in helland I had to give the children to their father for a one week holiday. My father took them over 7th Jan and was promised that whatever the outcome of the court case ex would take them back to me. Everyday I said I will see the kids in 7,6,5,4,3,2 days 12th Jan came and the heartless judge said that my children had to stay in Helland. I was told to return to helland and could take children and live in a battered womens shelter for up to 1 year then I just might get a house, 6 months pregnant.

Today my solicitor went to court to get children returned to me, I will not know the verdict untill next Friday but it did not sound good for me at all, ex said that he will provide a house for me and children to live in near his house, and he also lied about my son being in hospital with constipation (through worry). The judge said that I should move back to helland and take ex's offer up about living in the house that he will provide. But the judge was not happy that ex didnt take children back to me.

I am now 8 months pregnant how can a judge say I should return to where I left nearly 2 years ago, live in a house beside where he lives and have no family or friends nothing, ex is using my poor innocent children to get me back into his power. He is a sick sick person. I would love to be with my children but I can not put myself into that abusive situation. If I did return my beautiful daughter would grow up thinking "well Mama stayed with an abuser so it must be alright for me to stay with mine" abuse is a vicious circle.

I love my children and want them with me, I miss them so much. All I can do now is wait untill next Friday. I feel emosionaly numd, I feel scared, I feel very very angry, I want to hit someone/something, I need to talk to someone, I cant talk to my parents as they are taking it harder that me. The law sucks big time. They go on about domesic violence but then turn around and tell me to return to it. Carrie

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